5.12.2009

Today’s blog:

I met with Pastor Bill yesterday. I hadn’t seen him in a several years, and I was looking forward to seeing him again. He is one of those wonderful people that though you might not have seen him in years, when you sit down and talk, it’s like we just met last week for coffee. Bill and I used to pastor at the same church years ago. He and his wife Sandy are great teachers with wonderful shepherd’s hearts.

He reminded me of something we had studied out about the Israelites wondering through the desert. They struggled with the same things over and over again. “Can God provide, what I am going through is too hard, I don’t like the leadership, etc.” Sometimes they would end up in the same place they had been so many times before. Bill and I used to call it ‘going round the mountain.’ God wants to take you into the Promised Land; but you have a few tests to pass first.

So he brings you to this point in your life and asks you to do something, and you say “No, I don’t want to do that… I don’t think that that will work… Right now is not a good time… I’m doing something else and don’t have time to do it your way right now God… etc.” So God says “Ok” and its back into the wilderness and guess what? Later, sometimes years later, He brings you back to the same place to face the same thing all over again. So will you say yes or no this time around? “No” then “Ok” back into the wilderness again.

As we talked about this, Bill and I realized we would rather get it right the first time around. That as difficult or painful as it seems right now to do what God wants, it is nothing compared to going round the mountain over and over again, before we finally get it right. Then Bill shared that he had passed a test. He had held something in his hand that he had wanted for a long time, and God asked him to let it go, so this time he did. He said it felt really good to get it right this time.

So I wondered what it is you may be struggling with. What test are you going through? God has this plan for your life and He doesn’t give up. He will keep bringing you back until you get it right. He wants you to get it right. Philippians 1:6 say, “Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ.”

Day 2?
As we Bill and I shared we realized we had both been through some tough times lately. Then the Lord reminded me of a passage in John 6:25-69 when Jesus is teaching. His flesh is real food and His blood is real drink and we are told that many of His disciples grumbled about it. Vs 66 says, “from this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him.” So Jesus asks the 12, “do you want to leave to?” And Peter answers, “Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

Peter is saying “Lord I don’t understand what you are teaching, or what is going on, but I’m staying with you. You are the only answer.” I think every believer who follows Christ will eventually get to this point. The point where they say “God I don’t understand what you are doing, I don’t even know how I got here or how to get out of this mess, but I’m not going anywhere You are my only answer.”

I had a similar experience when my church closed. I had been pastoring a church for several years, and it was dying, so we closed it. I had tried everything I could think of to keep it going: fasting, prayer, bringing in other pastors for advice. I told the Lord I would leave and let someone else take the church if that would keep it open. But in the end we had to close it. Later I was walking in the field near my house praying to the Lord, crying out to Him. I kept asking “Why?” And suddenly, in my mind it seemed as if He was standing right in front of me. I never saw His face; he was about 2 ft taller than me. I remember going up to Him and hitting Him in the chest and screaming “Why? Why? How could you let this happen?”

And then I turned away and it was like nothing. Being in space floating, no light, no sound, no sense of anything, just darkness. That’s when I realized that this is what it would be like without Him. I remember laughing and I turned around and said that was stupid. “Where else can I go, Lord? I tried a lot of things in my life before I came to you and none of them worked. You are my only hope. I don’t know how I got here, or why, but I am going to hang on to you as long as I can. And when my strength gives out and I let go, I’m trusting that Your hand will be under me to catch me.”

Years later I hurt my back and I remember being in pain for a long time. I often asked the Lord, during that time, why I had to be in so much pain. And the Lord told me I was asking Him the wrong question. The question is not “why?” but “who?” Who can heal me?

Whatever you are going through now, or have been going through, Jesus is the answer. He is the one, the only one, who can and will make the path straight and narrow. He is the one who will heal, refresh, and set free every area of your life. He is the only answer.

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